A few weeks ago I joined hundreds of people in Cape Town's beautiful Kirstenbosch Gardens to see one of South Africa's up and coming musical stars, Louise Carver, in concert. She is a vocalist and pianist with a style that is a cross between Jennifer Knapp and Vanessa Carlton - mainstream, acoustic-rocky, and fun.

About halfway through, Louise introduced one of her songs as "a prayer to yourself". I found myself thinking, "Well, that's a prayer that's bound to disappoint." But, it's also a prayer that is prayed an amazing amount, by an amazing number of people, in our world today.

The slogans of self-help gurus are filled with the affirmations of self-faith: "Believe in yourself", "Trust your heart", "Be true to yourself". Now, I'm not knocking these ideas - I have found them very helpful at times, and I've needed to learn their truth. But I've also had to acknowledge their limitations. Ultimately, I can never be a satisfactory god for myself, and nor can any other human being. None of us, not even the wisest or noblest, deserves worship. Human beings make unsatisfactory gods - even though we sometimes seem strangely determined to deny this fact.

This is why I am so grateful for the twin seasons of Ascension and Pentecost. Ascension reminds us that Jesus is not just another motivational guru or great example of human potential. Jesus, in ways that we will never really understand, is God - sovereign and exalted above all. When we worship Christ, we worship a Being who is way beyond our ability to understand or control, and we deeply need this. We need to bow humbly before One who is so much greater than ourselves.

Pentecost, on the other hand, connects us with the God who is present and at work in all flesh. If the Ascension reminds us of God's transcendence, of the "immortal, invisible, God only wise", Pentecost draws us into the embrace of the God who is immanent, who is closer than breathing, and who gives life to our prayers, our souls and our actions in the world.

I need these reminders. I too easily grow fearful when I reach the end of my abilities or my knowledge. I too easily become suspicious when others are different and difficult to understand. I get too easily caught up in the pride of my achievements and the cleverness of my plans and solutions. I too readily embrace the shallow comfort and fragile security that the things of this world offer. And when I allow these things to usurp Christ's place in my heart - as they do, all too often, all too subtly and all too pervasively - I misplace my worship, and the life that flows from it. When my god becomes this small, my faith grows cold, and my hope grows dim, and my life loses its passion, its creativity and its joy.

I need a God who is bigger than I dream of or imagine. I need a God who is beyond all that is implied by the big theological words we use to describe God - omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, exalted, sovereign, glorified, eternal. And I am grateful that when I remember to ask, God is always ready to remind me of how small I really am.

 

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